How does one become a butterfly?

A while ago I decided to embark in a self-discovery journey which required a shift in my focus and attention, and it meant I had to stop doing some things and replace them with some other new meaningful ways of living.

After a few months of exploration I began to rock the boat and I realised that some of the people around me whom I thought will support me unconditionally were not ready, able or willing to roll with the changes. And it helped me learn a big lesson.

I was experiencing a lot of conflicted feelings. I felt lonely, hurt and ashamed AND at the same time it felt good deep inside to speak my truth. I was so confused that it made me even question myself if I really want what was on the other side of this change.

I knew this type of work won't be comfortable. It will ask me to get out of my comfort zone and face my demons. The experience was teaching me how to trust the process and be patient. But what I have learnt the most was that I was in the middle of a big transformation and my heart was still tender and my confidence muscles not fully formed.

Whenever I was feeling I take one empowering baby step forward, I was falling another ten steps back right after. I was vulnerable and any sign of disapproval felt like a personal attack. I was frustrated when asked to shake it off because I couldn't do it. I was falling very often in the victim mentality.

At times I wanted to give up and go back to where I was. But there is no way back! I can't unknow what I already know. Choosing positivity over emotional truth was making me more miserable. Deep inside I knew I don't belong in the cocoon any longer. It was suffocating.

How does one become a butterfly? You have to learn to fly so much

that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.

It requires to learn to set boundaries for yourself which in the beginning can feel selfish. I know that, I have been there. You are allowed to draw very clear limits when you're trying to accomplish something great. This doesn't mean you don't love someone anymore. You can love them while standing strong in your sense of self.

It requires to take responsibility for your life and makes you choose between reacting or responding. You are allowed to make mistakes by the way. It takes practice to get to find your way.

Equally, it requires to have unconditional support from yourself but also from other people. Keep focusing your attention in the right direction. Towards your life and the people who can help you get where you want to go. In hard times people don't want to be told to look on the bright side. They want to know you're on their side.

Reflecting back on my own experience whilst having enough unconditional support from me and from others made me realise that I feel ALIVE. I finally live my own imperfect life. I am committed to myself and my heart. I want to shine bright.

If you don't feel fully supported when you need it most, please know there is nothing wrong with you. Stand your ground! This is an opportunity to stop and reflect and see what is missing in your life. It is your chance to work and have your own tribe, where you belong and feel seen and heard. Slowing down and reflecting on your life is also the first step in giving support to yourself. It's the kind of support and self-love that will help you to fly.

Are you ready? Feel the fear and do it anyway!

Thank you for reading,

Magda